I'm already laughing from the title of this post. It's amazing to me how when one announces that they are getting married people start coming out the wood works & announcing their attendance... I mean people that we had not spoken to or seen in years.
We were getting messages in our in-boxes, emails, text messages, voice message as well as FB posts from people who decided to invite themselves to our wedding and requested that their invitations be mailed to them... WHAT?
Uuummm, brides-to-be, let me cut to the chase and just warn you that THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN and of course I have come up with PRACTICAL WAYS to assist you in this dilemma.
I'm gonna make this as quick, pain-free & to the point as possible, so here goes...
1. Brides-to-be & Grooms-to-be... decide on a number that both you and your budget will be able to accommodate. Weddings are not cheap and bare in mind that you have to pay per head.
2. Once you have come up with a concrete number, split that in half... for example. 160... the bride gets to invite 80 of her people & the groom gets to invite 80 of his (equal rights, lol).
3. Use a spreadsheet to list your guest... it's easy to maneuver through especially because lots of additions & subtractions will take place during the planning period. Also color coordinate... it's fun and the Grooms-to-be won't be confused when looking at the list... easy as 123 (lol) ☺
4. Create 2 lists... A & B. The B list usually consists of people that you really want to invite to your wedding but the reality is the budget does not allow... however, because circumstances will arise, there will be people on the A list that may not be able to attend the wedding thus allowing you the opportunity to pull from the B list.
5. Remember to include yourselves & the bridal party in the count (the caterer counts every head including yours) ☺
6. Invite people that's a part of your lives, plays important roles in your lives & people that are there for you before the wedding, people that will be there after the wedding and during the marriage. This is not a show... everyone that will be at your wedding will be witnesses to your union and you want people there that has your best interest at heart and mean you well.
(A WEDDING is a party in celebration of two lives becoming one... A MARRIAGE is life continued after the celebration of the two becoming one... don't forget that).
7. PARENTS (especially mothers)... please refrain from coming up with your own guest list & then imposing it on your children. It's OK for you to suggest a few names that you may want to celebrate in this joyous occasion but bringing your own list that includes the lady from across the street that used to babysit your child every now and again or inviting your boss or your co-worker that has no affiliation with the couple is downright UNACCEPTABLE!
8. FRIENDS/ASSOCIATES... please do not invite yourselves to other people's wedding! Do not assume that you are a guest until you have received a request for your address from the couple. Do not ask the couple via email, text or voice message whether or not you are invited to their wedding... that is very rude, inappropriate & tacky.
9. FAMILY MEMBERS/FRIENDS/ASSOCIATES/CO-WORKERS... just because you did not get invited to someone's wedding does not give you the right to be mad at them (well, actually, you can be mad if you want, that's all on you, LOL). The point is weddings are expensive and not everyone will be able to attend... it's just unrealistic. I'm sure if you ask Donald Trump (as rich as he is) if he had the same issue he would tell you yes!
10. Brides-to-be & Grooms-to-be... Stop apologizing! EVERYBODY CANNOT ATTEND THE WEDDING... period! When it's their turn they will understand and if they are already married then they should remember...
The truth is if you love the couple and you wish them nothing but the best, this should remain true irrespective of whether of not you receive an invitation. Of course you want to be there to celebrate in the day and yes you thought that without a doubt you would have been invited... but put yourself in the couple's shoes. Creating a guest list is no easy task. Sometimes it even creates tension and friction between the couple.
The most important thing that we want for the couple is for them to be stress free. So don't get mad if you did not receive an invitation and if it was in your heart to bless them with a gift, don't change your mind because you didn't get invited. Wish them all the best for the wedding day as well as throughout their marriage... and mean it. ☺ ☺ ☺
Until next time,
Smile, you're on camera!
Girl! So I know that I'm commenting on everything, but you really are posting (or have posted) about things that I am going through right now! BRIDES, this WILL happen! TRUST! I have seen and heard some of the most ridiculous stories about these things! Because me and the hubby to be are High school sweethearts, we had someone even demand that they be in attendance because they were "there when it all started!!!" We have not personally spoken to this person in the seven years that we have been together! I was like WHAT? Wow!
ReplyDeleteWe have a pretty big guest list, check this, we can only have 230 people at max in our venue and our guest list is still over 250. My fiance' says we sent out Save the Dates to over 230, but we are kinda hoping that we get a few, sorry, we can't make its.
Our wedding planner also told us about a little rule to keep in mind. About 10-20% of invited guests will not show on the day of your wedding-sometimes due to unforseen circumstances or just bad planning. Sounds kinda scary, but I have seen it at other weddings.
At this point, we seriously are not even complaining, because there are some family and friends that we are still wanting to invite.
We also have the A list and B list. My planner is actually against this method of doing things, because she thinks its really improper and not as wise. But honestly remember its YOUR wedding, you do what you have to do as long as it doesn't cause a BIG MESS!
Thanks for creating an outlet for me to talk about my experiences! LOL!
Shacondra, feel free to comment at anytime... i love reading your response (u r hilarious).
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck on the seating chart (lol).